But he wont do this - he hasnt given me a reason just says no everytime i ask him. He has ignored me all weekend like her usually does - I Leave him to it when hes doing stuff with lily but when hes not all i want is a cuddle i feel so lonely tbh. Child maintenance and access rights are treated as separate legal issues by the court. There's plenty of time for overnight stays in the future, when they are more used to each other. But i think its not right that shes away from me overnight. If, however, your daughter ends up staying with her father for more than 52 nights of the year, this will reduce the amount of child maintenance he has to pay. For the fastest help on, More posts in "May 2009 Birth Club" group, Create a post in "May 2009 Birth Club" group, Breastfeeding: the trick to a comfy latch. That is exactly what i said pamela - i explained that i am not for one minute saying i think hes not capable of looking after her - i wouldnt let anyone even if theyed raised a hundred babies perfectly without a single mistake i would not let them take my baby overnight! However, it's important to note that no one has an automatic right to contact. I THink shes too young to beaway from me, i have no problem with him taking her out for the day i will happily go to my mums for the day [which is about half hour form his]. I have to agree with the other ladies though, I do think that she is too young to spend the night away from you, and I would tell him that you're not happy with that arrangement until she's at least 6 months old, purely because you're her primary caregiver and it just might not be safe for anyone at all, even the most experienced mum in the world, to have her overnight without you there. that he has only met 6 times in his 14 months of life. I Dont really know what to do tbh im sick oftrying to make him happy now, i do everything he asks and he ignores me still. You're being so reasonable - I'd have chucked several wobblies and done god knows what by now. my son turned 2 in December. My baby is 5 weeks old & the father wants overnight visitation. This product is displayed based on comments within this post. We are going to mediation but I don't know how to express how I feel and present my case. Yeah i have been to his place, its lovely. I Think i am just going to have to be strong somehow and keep telling him. MissToniiLou. We both wanted to keep the baby but decided not to rekindle the relationship. So i said dont ask me to come over if your going to ignore me! Especially given how hard he has already found the sleepless nights. Because of him seeing me, his ex was more than happy to send her daughter to him overnight every 2 weeks as she thought it would stop him having a life but we were more than happy to stay in with his 18 month old son and his daughter as he lived with his parents after him and ex separated and they went out on Saturday nights so it was just us and the kids which was really nice. I will send you a copy, but you can also find it on the web. I Think he thinks that i am saying that he cant have her overnight so i know what he is doing etc... but tbh ive never been like that, im not about to put my personal life in the way of my daughter bonding with her dad, but im also not prepared to leave her overnight. I Lived in st helens when i met him, he works 5 mins down the road and lives half hour/40 mins away - I Had a flat there and would have stayed there if he hadnt been the one telling me he didnt want anything to do with the baby. Family law is rightly concerned with what's best for the child – set out in the Children Act 1989, specifically Section 1: the Welfare of the Child. I'd say you are well within your rights to not let her stay overnight at her dads unless you are there too until she's at least a year old. The organisations listed in my reply both run great helplines if you needed to chat this through with someone further, and two of them can give you legal advice if necessary. I would stick to what you are doing, going to his parents and sharing the time you and him both have with her. See this is what i think he thinks but oposite way round.. You are passing a message to a BabyCenter staff member. Personally I wouldn't be letting him have her overnight yet. Even after i'd had lily, i didnt want him driving home [it was half 4 in the morning when he left the hospital] As he was knackered and i worry about people driving when tired its so dangerous, he wouldnt even go to my dads then to get a couple of hours sleep. You can't refuse contact because they don't pay sufficient, or any, maintenance. You need to think about what you believe is best for your daughter and present that at mediation (great that you are trying mediation). he lives in cheshire.. about 2 hours from me and works a hell of a lot through theweek. You asked if I knew of any recent studies that talked about a baby's emotional attachments in situations such as these. A non-resident parent who does not pay maintenance is still entitled to see their child. C, via email. I am very close to my stepdaughter now and I think its because I was there a lot when she was a baby and would even go so far as to say she gets on with me better than her mum! You are so sorted, it's amazing - your daughter is so lucky to have a strong mum like you! Posted 26/05/2009. He agreed to stay with me for three months after she was born to help look after her. My sister has only just let her baby stay out overnight and he's 6 months old now and she only lives round the corner from me. Get expert guidance from the world's #1 pregnancy and parenting resource, delivered via email, our apps, and website. Dad wants to take baby overnight.. too young? Can you please give me some resources that I can take to court? If you are breastfeeding, this could support your argument for your daughter to stay with you at the moment and for visits to be conducted at your home. Mummy2charlie you are right - Although hes not like a control freak as such - He wouldnt ever tell me i can or cannot do something i want to do such as go out with my friends etc. The baby is 3.5 months now. Annalisa Barbieri advises a reader who's anxious about her ex's demands to have their nine-week-old baby to stay with him and his new girlfriend.