The “Ghost Dad” is the newest divorce buzzword. But the days when “moms were the best nurturers in the family” are long gone. History has taught us that traditions and rituals help to ground us. Being in love is only one part of the equation. By processing those difficult feelings, children can begin to deal with the loss. When the other parent walks away Becoming the sole parent in your children’s life is a big thing. Make sure that your tone of voice is gentle and understanding. parent provides most of the care with the other parent being less closely involved. We have to look at narrow history first, in order to widen our view and rewrite a more complete history than we once knew. remain, at least, respectful about them if at all possible. This can happen for many different reasons. You should go for it. Sometimes, it's because that parent simply isn't interested in bringing up a child. When children lose a parent, it is exceptionally painful for them. How you tell a 9 year old will be different to how you tell a 3 year old. They can imagine that this parent is perfect; the most Divorce is a painful and destructive procedure, often resulting in bitterness, … I am sad that s/he has chosen not to be in your life and I know that Children who are shielded from the truth can blame the remaining parent for the absence of their other parent. Sometimes, it's simply because a parent has no model of engaged parenting. wanting extra cuddles, sucking thumbs etc. Divorce is a painful and destructive procedure, often resulting in bitterness, … perfect parent there could be. As mothers, you are probably well aware of the hurt your child experiences when their father leaves but when happens, long term, if he just doesn't want to know. While I can't specifically answer your question, I can tell you my story. Some fathers leave abusive relationships, leaving their children behind. If your partner has walked away completely, you may grieve the loss of the relationship, the loss of your ex and the loss of someone in the role of the other parent. However, if children are going to deal with the loss, they must know the The simple guide for families going through divorce or        separation. In other cases, one The more you fight, the more it’s all your fight. truth and be allowed and supported to grieve, in much the same way as if there had been a death. The feeling can be very similar to that of bereavement. He moved in with his new wife about two hours drive away. The less you fight, the more is taken away, little by little. Be prepared for anxieties when you drop younger children at school or nursery - again offer plenty of reassurance. understand. Once your child's curiosity has been satisfied, their interest is likely to reduce. Divorce is difficult for everyone. In telling your children, you must consider their ages. Try to use words and concepts that they will be able to In most cases, both parents will remain involved in a child's life after separation. Children who have never known one of their parents or where one of their parents has walked away will often fantasise about that parent. In other cases, one parent provides most of the care with the other parent being less closely involved. Would a Same-Sex Couple Really Be Welcome in a Church? If you are able to offer something just a little positive about their other parent, this can help. It's important to offer children as much reassurance as you can. You don't need to sing the other parent's praises but, equally, remember that your child will experience their other parent as being a part of them and so it is important to